Thich Nhat Hanh:

Welcoming the Storm with Presence 🌬️​

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Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh taught that a strong emotion is like a crying baby.  The baby needs to be held and comforted, not ignored or scolded.  The strong emotion is asking for the same: your acknowledgement and gentle embrace.

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Practices from Thich Nhat Hanh: Befriending the Emotion

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​The Three Steps to Meeting Strong Emotions

 

1. Recognizing and Calling by Name 🏷️ (Recognition)

 

The first step in caring for an emotion is simply to acknowledge it without judgment.  By naming it, you shine the light of awareness on it and begin to separate yourself from it.  You are not the emotion; you are the one aware of the emotion.

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• Practice: When a strong emotion like grief or anxiety arises, pause.  Place your attention on your breathing. Gently and mindfully, recognize the feeling and call it by its name, just like you would greet an old friend: "Hello, anger,"or "Hello, fear."

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2. The Breathing Room Practice (Mindful Hug) 

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When a powerful emotion arises, Thich Nhat Hanh suggests creating a "breathing room" for it.  You don't try to stop the feeling; you simply bring your full, gentle awareness to your in-breath and out-breath, treating the emotion with the same care you'd give a loved one.

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• In-breath: Say silently, "Hello, my strong emotion." (e.g., "Hello, my sadness.")

• Out-breath: Say silently, "I know you are there, and I will take care of you."

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This simple, repetitive breathing helps you create a safe space between you and the intensity of the feeling, allowing you to be the gentle guardian of your emotion.

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3. Transforming the Energy 🌟

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After recognizing the emotion, you use your mindfulness to embrace and transform it.  This mindful presence helps the emotion's energy calm down naturally.

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• Practice: Use your breath and your mindful awareness as a kind of "spiritual food" to nurture and hold the difficult feeling.  Imagine your awareness is a warm, gentle light or a loving hand wrapped around the strong emotion. You don't suppress it or analyze it; you simply keep bringing your non-judgmental presence to it.

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Dealing with Strong Emotions: 'Being With' for the First 5 Minutes

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Strong emotions (like anger) can often lead to actions we later regret.  Thich Nhat Hanh advises creating immediate space so you don't act impulsively.

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• Practice: When a strong emotion rises up, commit to not acting, speaking, or writing for the first five minutes (or more).  If possible, stop what you are doing and move to a quiet spot.  Sit down, place your hands gently in your lap, and focus entirely on your breathing.  You are like a warrior protecting yourself.  The purpose is not to stop the strong emotion, but to safeguard the moment so you can greet it mindfully.

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Caring for the Inner Child 

 

Many of our strong feelings are tied to old, unhealed wounds.  Thich Nhat Hanh encouraged us to see a "wounded inner child" within us, and to practice mindful self-compassion by embracing that child.

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• Practice: When you feel overwhelmed by a painful emotion, recognize that it is your inner child hurting.  Place your hand on your heart or stomach as a grounding anchor and gently tell your inner child: "I am here for you.  I will take care of you.  I won't let you suffer alone anymore."   This simple act stops the cycle of self-abandonment and begins the work of offering yourself presence and love.

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Pebble Meditation Practice (Four Elements) 

 

For grounding and gentle focus, Thich Nhat Hanh offered the Pebble Meditation.  The idea is to mentally connect simple images of nature with your breathing and feeling, using them to remind you of your innate qualities.

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• Flower 🌸: Breathing In: "I am a flower." Breathing Out: "I feel fresh." (Focuses on freshness and vitality)

• Mountain ⛰️: In: "I am a mountain." Out: "I feel solid." (Focuses on stability and unshakeability)

• Still Water 💧: In: "I am still water." Out: "I reflect things as they are." (Focuses on clarity and calm)

• Space 🌌: In: "I am space." Out: "I feel free." (Focuses on openness and freedom)

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By concentrating on these images, you gently bring your mind out of the overwhelming emotion and back to a place of natural peace and strength.

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"If we face our unpleasant feelings with care, affection, and nonviolence, we can transform them into the kind of energy that is healthy and has the capacity to nourish us."

- Thich Nhat Hanh